If you’ve ever been told to ‘eat less and move more’ to achieve better health or lose weight, how did that make you feel?
Are you thinking,
“Well Sherlock, it’s not as if I haven’t tried that ten times already.”
Or,
“Seriously? I thought you might suggest something more useful than that!”
Or,
“You clearly have no idea how to help me. I’m talking with the wrong person.”
You may have noticed there’s a massive trend towards wellness these days.
Indeed, the wellness industry is currently growing at an exponential rate.
Globally it was worth $6.3 trillion in 2023, with the future forecast it will hit $9 trillion by 2028 according to the Global Wellness Institute.
And we’re talking US dollars here.
So, with the burgeoning public interest and the viral growth of wellness influencers in-line, you’d be forgiven for thinking this is great, we’re all going to be fitter and healthier.
Or maybe not.
Because the data is telling us that despite all our best intentions our health and wellbeing is going backwards and if you’re wondering why, it’s because we’ve been emphasising the wrong message.
The route to better health and wellbeing starts with understanding what’s the most appropriate long term (because this is for ever) strategy that suits you, your body and mind and your circumstances,
It’s time to play the long game.
If I ask you,
“Do you want to drop 5 kgs in the next 6 weeks?”
You might think, “Great, let’s let this party started.”
So, you sign up and are instantly inundated with a firehose of stuff, information, tips and videos, and don’t forget to join the online group who are all there to support you.
The result?
- After 6 weeks, you find you’re disenchanted with all the perky young things on-line encouraging you to keep going with all the recommended tips and tricks.
- You’re nauseous from reading the success stories of others in the group app when nothing has changed for you.
- You’re feeling stupid for getting sucked in again to another useless program that has resulted in you losing nothing, except money out of your wallet.
The thought of losing weight and getting fit is a good one and intentions may also be good.
The tricky bit is finding the motivation and consistency of habit to make it happen and to understand this is about YOU, your journey, your needs that matters the most to you.
Yes, you might keep going for a few weeks on the next ‘big thing”, then typically life and other priorities take over again.
This is exactly what happened with Phillipa.
Phillipa is 54, a closet smoker (her husband thinks she’s given up), is moderately overweight and is terrified of dying young because her Dad died of a heart attack in his early fifties.
She’s been on every diet known to man and has had multiple gym memberships that she’s never used.
Her fear of dying prematurely is so great it’s negatively impacting her health. She’s developed significant anxiety, and while she avoids the scales, knows her weight is going up.
Do you know someone like Phillipa?
The perpetual fight to achieve her goals, and repeated failures have diminished not only her energy and motivation but also her confidence and self-esteem.
After she shared her story with me, I asked her,
“Phillipa, what is it you really want?”
“How would you feel, if you didn’t have to spend all this effort (energy and time) trying to lose weight and be fitter?”
After going quiet for a moment she answered she believed she would feel better and more energised and this would free her up to focus on those things she wanted to spend time on, like playing with her grandkids and taking some tennis lessons.
I asked if she would be willing to work with me to approach her health issues differently, to which she said yes.
We started by getting to the heart of the matter – digging down to why it was important for her to be slimmer and fitter.
Then I asked if she thought she could shift her focus away from what wasn’t working and to think about what could help her develop a more positive relationship with food.
I also asked her to choose one activity she enjoyed for herself and how she could schedule it into her week to make it happen.
No expectations. No shoulds. No guilt.
No more teeth gritting, it’s time to have fun.
Doing stuff that you hate, dislike or find tedious is absolutely not fun.
Little wonder our body and mind rails against us.
Instead of expending all that precious energy fretting, worrying and feeling bad about yourself, it’s time to focus on what you’re good at, and enjoy.
The magic of this approach is that little by little you start to regain your sense of what works for you and stay aligned to what matters the most.
When you’re feeling happier, your energy levels start to increase so you’re more active during the day, sleeping better at night along and more able to make the healthier choices.
If you’ve been feeling a bit stuck on the “I must improve my health” record, try these simple ideas to change gear and shift the dial towards the goal you want.
- Think of the best thing that happened to you this week.
Think of something positive, to shift your mindset and emotion towards what makes you happy. Being in a good frame of mind opens you up to possibility thinking.
- Choose one small aspect of self-care to work on.
Often our greatest success starts by making one small adjustment to our existing routine. You don’t need to radically overhaul your eating pattern and chuck out everything in your pantry. Start with one small healthy change of your choice and make it something you want to do, feels achievable and something you are confident of doing even if it takes a little stretch and time.
Then go and celebrate your success.
- Negotiate your Plan B.
If fitness is your game, setting yourself the goal of going to the gym every Wednesday after work is great. But what happens when you have urgent work to finish, your child’s school play is on that night, or you’re totally exhausted from several nights poor sleep?
This is where self-compassion and self-negotiation come to play.
When you expect obstacles to your big plan and have anticipated the event, it’s no drama to adjust. Maybe you can go on a different day. Maybe you can miss a week, without falling into “I’ve failed again abyss.”
Health and wellbeing are a state of being and always a work in progress.
So, let’s get real, ignore the noise and hype, and do what’s right for you.
