Patience has never been my strong point.
I’m impatient, sometimes impulsive and yes, sometimes I take a risk.
But having now been in rehab now for three months, I’m starting to get a much better appreciation of how healing takes its own sweet time and there are some things I can’t hurry up, even though I wish I could.
No one sets out to sustain an injury, even the daredevil skateboarders and aerial skiers who consistently set out to cheat gravity would much prefer not to break anything when practising their jumps, twists and turns.
Nor do we seek to hurt ourselves mentally when attempting to navigate the messy world of broken relationships, disappointment or bullying.
Trauma of any kind is a unique stress.
It’s wearing.
It’s exhausting.
It makes me irritable, and there are times when I just want to scream my frustration at its reluctance to let me go.
I have looked after many patients who live with chronic pain, but like childbirth, unless you’ve experienced it yourself, it’s hard to have any concept of what it’s really like.
Other than acknowledging I’m not always the best patient, there have been several useful lessons I can take away from this time.
- It reminds you what matters the most.
- It’s a blunt reminder that you, too, are human.
- It’s an opportunity to experience kindness and pay it forward.
- It’s an excellent teacher for greater self-awareness.
- It’s a reason to celebrate what you have and your progress to full recovery.
When things get broken.
There are some things we can’t fix on our own.
This is where giving yourself permission to seek help from those skilled in rehabilitation is vital to enjoying a faster, more complete recovery with less risk of relapse. As someone who likes to do things my way and independently, I know this can be hard.
If you’ve ever tried to quit smoking or had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, you’ll know that willpower alone is rarely enough. You might have the best of intentions right now, but future you cannot be trusted. Sorry, not sorry, to remind you of this.
And if you’re not a gym junkie, it can be hard to find the motivation to maintain a consistent schedule.
Life gets in the way. Curveballs knock your plans to touch, and all of a sudden you realise you haven’t been anywhere near the gym for over 3 weeks.
Ooops.
Whether you’re dealing with bones, muscles or emotions, getting the best advice from those with the expertise is gold.
Beyond having access to experts to help, it’s about staying accountable to yourself, your family and your friends. Do whatever works for you to build the accountability piece.
It’s normal to not hit your weekly target every time, so show yourself some self-compassion, but seek to increase your consistency so that when your accountability buddy is there checking in on your progress, you can feel good knowing that you’re getting there, bit by bit.
It’s the small incremental steps of progress that get you to your destination.
And when things get you down and you feel your frustration levels rise, remember that’s normal too.
This is the time to dive into your stress management toolkit and activate those strategies that you’ve learnt serve you well. Best of all these are often the small things that quickly alleviate our stress like,
- Take several long, slow breaths, focusing on the exhale to calm your nervous system.
- Step outside to take in the fresh air, sunshine (or rain!) and look around you. What do you notice or hear? Hearing birdsong can be especially soothing.
- Kick off your shoes and stand barefoot on the ground. Earthing, as it’s called, is believed to alleviate inflammation in the body. The research is very scanty. Proponents wax lyrical about its benefits. I just like the sensation of walking or lying on soft grass.
- Practice meditation to stay present. Whether you engage with mindfulness or other form of meditative practice, even a short 5-minute interlude can break the cycle of being stuck in negative thoughts or feelings.
- Be grateful for the good things in your life, the people who care about you or show you kindness.
- Distract yourself with a pleasurable activity. A cup of tea on the back porch. A cuddle with your pet. A catch up with a friend.
The best thing about rehab.
There’s no better feeling than recognising you’re stronger and have regained more function, even though you’re not quite back to normal yet.
Last weekend, I took my kayak out onto the river for a very gentle paddle and was delighted to be back in my happy place again. Yes, my shoulder told me it wasn’t happy, but I persevered and enjoyed a gorgeous paddle with friends on a glorious Spring morning in Perth.
Getting back to paddling, hiking and spending time in nature is my greatest source of joy along with being able to bounce our grandchild on my knee, which makes all that time in rehab absolutely worth it.
Small Steps, Lasting Change.
If you’re struggling with an aspect of your health and well-being and wonder what you could be doing differently, this is the time to enquire whether a coaching program will help.
The doors to my next intake close at the end of the first week in October. If you’re ready to make the change, simply email me to find out more.
