It came out of the blue.
An unexpected phone call with a single message.
“I’m done. I can’t do this anymore.”
Except it had been a tragedy unfolding over many months that we had remained blind to.
We all have our limits, but because we don’t want to let others down or look like a quitter, we keep on keeping on, even when we are desperate to leave.
It was our failure to notice the warning signs, staying convinced that everything was OK because that’s what we were being told, and we didn’t want to believe anything different meant we were caught off guard when our child told us they were quitting their job because they were completely burnt out.
The worst of it was knowing that I, of all people, should have seen it coming.
Because I’ve been there too.
The guilt was terrible.
Recovery from severe burnout takes time.
It’s tempting to think – just give it a couple of weeks and I’ll be fine.
You won’t.
And when recovering from glandular fever or Long Covid, pushing yourself too hard too early to get back to normal, lengthens the time needed to fully heal.
It took me 12 long months. It felt like a lifetime. But it was the time needed to recover physically, mentally and socially and to work out – where to from here?
Everyone who experiences burnout travels their own recovery journey.
There’s no single manual or script to follow.
However, there are some common truths that can help, which I use in my coaching practice when working with health and other professionals who have fallen foul of burnout.
- Burnout is preventable (and by the way, it’s not your fault.)
- It’s not inevitable. Just because everyone around you is burning out doesn’t imply you will too.
- It can recur. Yep, jumping back into that same frying pan can burn you again unless you’ve learned how to turn the heat down.
- There are things you can do to protect yourself against burnout which do actually work.
Burnout is a multifaceted issue.
You’re not allowed to call it a “condition”. It’s defined as an “occupational syndrome,” the result of being exposed to high levels of chronic stress that have not been successfully managed.
With so many people reporting feeling chronically stressed at work, little wonder so many are affected by it.
Manifesting as extreme exhaustion, cynicism and a drop in performance it results from the interplay of being asked to work excessive hours under high pressure within a system that takes no prisoners, is inflexible, offers little or no support and strips the individual of autonomy.
That’s why knowing how to avoid burnout in the first place is paramount.
This is far more than “toughening up” or being “resilient”.
Warning: Being offered a place on a resilience course is a red flag, indicating the system you’re working in is blind to the overload it places on its staff.
Dealing with burnout, which covers a spectrum from mild to very severe, is about discovering how your biology works to effectively manage stress, remembering too that this is different for each of us.
It’s about learning to recognise the warning signs in yourself that stress levels are too high and giving yourself permission to step back to stay safe and rediscover the joy of what lights you up and provides you purpose and meaning.
It includes,
- Looking out for each other and offering support when you see it’s needed.
- Putting guard rails in place, so you can be confident your boundaries won’t be breached.
- Having a voice to speak up and to share ideas for how work and the system can work better for everyone, without the fear of being shouted down, or worse, ignored.
- Enabling self-care – whatever that looks like to the individual. These are your non-negotiables. Attending mandated yoga or meditation classes isn’t the solution. Sometimes it’s more about time out and having space to be you for sleep, play and fun.
- Making better health choices. Lifestyle medicine is all about prevention of ill-health and lowering the risk of chronic disease.
Burnout doesn’t happen overnight. It’s the result of months or even years of compliance to the expectations of others. You choose not to stick your head above the parapet, so you stay quiet, putting up with the exhaustion, the moral injury, or psychological distress, until you reach the point of collapse.
Help is available.
I have chosen to work with health and other professionals in this space because life is too short and too precious to be consumed by overwork and overwhelm.
Because no one wins in burnout.
If burnout is something you’ve had to deal with, I’d love to hear your story.
